My church has this saying. It’s the understanding that everyone has struggles, difficulties, and hard times. It’s the reminder that no matter your past, you can begin again. That you’re not the only one.
Over the last couple months, I hit a wall – in the form of “ED“. I created this blog because I had found balance! I had learned how to intuitively eat, and enjoy a healthy lifestyle making healthy choices while still enjoying my favorite sweets – and I wanted to help you know that it’s possible. But lately, ‘balance’ has not been the case for me. And it honestly just didn’t feel right living that ideal online when the reality was far from it. So, as you can tell, I went a little MIA… since that makes so much more sense.
When I first decided to share my story, I had been physically healthy, and following a healthier lifestyle, for quite some time. It wasn’t until I realized that my battles with ED were still affecting me, mentally, that I decided to get some help. And honestly, that was probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Working through the root causes of my eating disorder, learning how to recognize ED, and realizing that I didn’t have to live with his voice in my head any longer – these are all amazing things that I took away from that process. But even more so, I was truly humbled and learned that asking for help is not only “ok”, it’s important to do! We were not made to live life alone. We can’t do it all, as much as we might think so sometimes ;) I know, crazy right?!
The problem is sometimes we get so caught up, that we forget what gave us results in the first place. It’s like trying out the latest diet, following all of the guidelines, losing the weight, and then you stop and wonder why you can’t keep it off when you go back to your old habits. Sound familiar? Me too. It’s only a healthy lifestyle change if you make it one, otherwise it’s just another ‘diet’, right? Figuratively and quite literally.
Or in my case, it was letting myself believe that because I had worked through the root causes behind my eating disorder, I was essentially “good to go” and would never struggle with ED again. Luckily, this time I didn’t wait forever to ask for help.
The biggest lie we can fool ourselves into believing.. and let me tell you, I believed!
Pretending that we don’t have slip ups, or that we don’t still struggle, doesn’t help anyone. The best thing we can do for both ourselves and those around us, is to be real. Be authentic. And ask for help when it’s needed. Because no one expects you to be perfect. This is what makes us human. This is what grants us the ability to connect with others and keep pushing forward.
Does my eating disorder define me? Heck no! But, do I need to remain aware and proactive in order to live the healthy balanced lifestyle I love so much? Absolutely.